Our inner critic/internal moderator part isn’t a monster trying to destroy us. Their intention is to make and keep us good, acceptable and valuable, so that we don’t lose belonging and approval from the people around us and the society we live in. They are the most concerned with our survival. They are like harsh parents who don’t know how to love their children the way children need. Introduce new ways of thinking, being, and doing to our inner critic/internal moderator. Understand them and connect with them. Help this part develop a relationship and integrate with our self compassion part, through this relationship/integration, inner critic/internal moderator will realise self criticism and self punishment aren’t the only way to secure survival; they will realise love and compassion actually nourish and nurture us and help us grow and move forward better than fear and coercion. Inner critic/internal moderator knows our ‘weaknesses’ the best; weaknesses are qualities we learn through socialisation/life experiences that will get us disapproved of and rejected. Instead of trying to silence our inner critic/internal moderator, we learn from them and teach them new ways of giving negative feedback. Their skill of noticing deficiencies and giving negative feedback is a valuable tool. It helps us be more prepared. Working with the inner critic/internal moderator helps us develop mental and emotional resilience and inner peace.

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